This post is PART 41 in a guest blogger series following author Rachael's transition from an A.M.A.B (Assigned Male at Birth) individual to that of a self-identified trans woman.
If you are just discovering Queer as me, start the story from the beginning here.
My new roommate was more of a friend than I could possibly ever imagine. He was there to help me be myself without judgment, or worrying about my mercurial emotions. It was nice to have someone who was queer in their own way. We fit together very well, we both liked a clean house, and we both didn’t know a lot of people in the community yet.
So, it is with difficulty that I moved out a few months after moving in. He was traveling for about six weeks and I felt lonely. Ha, you say what kind of friend leaves after a few months? Not a good one I agree, but it was what I believed at the time the best choice. I thought I had fallen in love. Now, I know that is quite a poor excuse, because I was certainly thinking with my heart and not my head. I jumped at the chance to live with other individuals who were also identified as Trans. Not only were the new household all Trans, but two were actual trans women. Moreover, one of them had just completed her surgery recently.
Thus, I almost destroyed a wonderful friendship and great roommate in a moment of weakness. I never considered his emotions or needs.
This is one of my many regrets, that I didn’t give us time to become better confidants.
It took almost an entire year to gain his friendship back.
Which I believe was actually based solely on his good nature.
Nevertheless, he was able to find a temporary roommate, until a more permanent one could be found. This was a powerful lesson in being accountable for me. As I had never been more wrong than in that actual moment. Being Trans didn’t let me off the hook of being a decent human being, I had to be better than that.
So, I now had moved into a new household, one where there were three other transgender individuals. They were as different from me as any other person would be. In actuality, they were much more different than any other people I had ever met. They, in fact, were part of a household that was based in BDSM. Now, I’m sure that most of you have heard of such a thing, especially after the fifty shades of grey books or movies. Or at the very least you have come to the Little Shop of Pleasures where I work. But for those who have not, I’ll give the most basic of explanations. It is a variety of erotic practices or role playing involving Bondage, Dominance and Submission, and Masochism.
You may click on the link provided if you wish to understand more about these words, here.
This was one of the main reason for my wanting to move in with them, not only the fact of all of them being Trans. So many things I had questions about, and they were very happy to explain and show me their darkest dungeon.
Editor’s Note: To read Queer as me – Part 42: Trans Unicorn? click here. Or click here to read the previous blog post Queer as me – Part 40: Changes. For the latest LSOP blog posts and so much more, make sure to add us on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.