The Worst Sexual Advice

The Worst Sexual Advice

This is a small collection of TERRIBLE sexual advice taken from a recent ask Reddit. We have collected some of the highlights (or should I say lowlights) to share. To see the rest, be sure to check out the original thread, What's the worst sexual advice you've ever heard?

This is a small collection of TERRIBLE sexual advice taken from a recent ask Reddit. We have collected some of the highlights (or should I say low-lights) to share. To see the rest, be sure to check out the original thread, What's the worst sexual advice you've ever heard?

 

 

To kick it off, the LSOP staff wanted to share some "alternative facts" they have heard about toy cleaning, lube compatibility, and the correct use of condoms.

 

 

"Fleshlights are self cleaning!"

 

They are not. My god, are they not.

 

 

"Use cooking oil for lube!"

 

Even better when paired with latex condoms! [Editor's note: No. No no No no no.]

 

 

PLEASE, DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME.

 

-- The LSOP Staff

 

 

User okay_sky

 

"Pull anal beads out like you're starting a lawnmower!"

 

 

User -Lime-

 

"Sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes. Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel-good effects.” I'm just imagining a woman riding her boyfriend and suddenly grabbing a pepper mill and yelling "Would you want some pepper with that?"

 

 

User Tisarwat

 

"A SHOELACE: Wrap it around the middle of his shaft once, so you have two long ends. Then … pull on the strings, flossing it up and down."

 

 

User BaftyCrastards

 

"It's simple. Just stick it inside her and pee"

 

 

User Djbrr

 

"Double wrap condoms for twice the safety"

 

"If the girls on top and you finish in her, gravity will prevent her from getting pregnant"

 

"Just be yourself, girls will love you"

 

"If you rinse out a vagina with a turkey baster after unprotected sex, pregnancy prevention increases by 98%"

 

 

User 6cldcs

 

"Twist the head."

 

 

User Plz_Pm_Me_Cute_Fish

 

The literal worst: "Bite the bean".

 

 

User Grave_Girl

 

Masturbate in front of him using a popsicle and then "invite him to fuck your shockingly icy pussy."

 

 

User Taftimus

 

"Find the seam on his balls and give them a pinch, it will make his orgasm that much more mind blowing."

 

 

User varisforge

 

Mine was to have your gf put a mint in her mouth before oral. Not really bad advice in and of itself, but we didn't have any mints, so she grabbed a breath strip and went down on me before it was fully dissolved.

 

It promptly stuck to my penis and burned with the fury of 10,000 icy suns. It wouldn't wash off for five full minutes, and afterwards my gf had laughed so hard at my convulsing agony that all we could do afterward was go to bed and try to forget that night ever happened.

 

 

User KingOfScrubs

 

Me and my then girlfriend were trying to save a relationship with kinky stuff. We read mag's and one of them suggested shoving a digit up the each others ass during sex would heighten the experience.

 

Not only did I not enjoy the umm "sensation", my girlfriend thought my clenching and grunting as a sign that I liked it and pushed deeper, in the ensuing chaos of me physically throwing her off me, he false nail broke off.

 

Frightened it was in my ass we went to the emergency room for x-rays and an examination. when we got home we found it in the bed.

 

My personal favorite is always going to be

 

“Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough!”

 

 

Do you have any terrible yet funny sexual advice you want to share? Let us know on Facebook, Twitter or in the comments below!

 

@LSOPYYC Facebook

 

@shopofpleasures Twitter

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