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Dirty Horoscopes - October 2018

Dirty Horoscopes - October 2018

Want to know what the stars have in store for you (in bed)? Little Shop of Pleasure's team of psychics divine the cosmos (or, you know, whatever) and let you know what the universe has to say about your sex life in our monthly Dirty Horoscopes.




A cold breeze has blown across our city, but that doesn't mean you have to cool down in the bedroom. Lots of toys and prevertables can be given a warm bath to add a little extra fire under the sheets. Glass and steel toys hold temperature extremely well and if you run them under warm water before play they should still be nice and toasty even with Jack Frost tapping at your window.




There are some primal noises coming from your bed this month, Taurus. Is it a wild animal, or is it you? Turn down the lights and see if you can get in touch with your inner animal as you touch yourself. Get loud! Don't hold back the sounds your body wants to make- every moan, whimper, growl, and howl is just you letting out the sexy beast within.




The candle light flickers, the music pumps, and the smell of incense wafts through the air. Isn't it divine? One of our most important senses often gets missed when we are getting things ready for a romantic night in. Your senses heightened by solar flares this month, so be it a scented candle, incense, oil/lotions, or an alluring cologne, don't let your nose be left out when preparing the perfect evening!




You don't need a wand or a pointy hat to perform magic this month, Cancer. With Venus passing through your sign you will be supercharged with all sorts of sexual powers! Knowing that, you'd better find a outfit that helps channel that energy and put your newfound super power to good use. A tight black top? Some power heels? Maybe a new belt? Find your own magic conductor and cast your sexy spell.




Leo Symbol
Sadly, dear Leo, there is no love potion #9. But that doesn't mean you can't make your own lust-inspiring foods. Saturn is going to be helping you this month with all hands-on endeavours, so plan the time to make a feast for your mate. Getting your hands dirty and cooking up a storm in your culinary laboratory will be well rewarded with the lasting appreciation of your delicious creations.




Virgo Symbol

Are you being watched? Is there someone eyeing you from across the room? Is there a spook tracking your every step? Possibly… or is it just your partner? The thrill of the hunt or getting hunted could be a lot of fun for you this month, Virgo. The feeling of being lusted after from afar can be a great excitement to some people, especially in the month when creature feature marathons are on every channel! Of course consent and communication (as well as a sweet pair of costume fangs) is essential to setting the perfect scene!




Libra Symbol

Mercury is associated with power, drive, passion, and expression! With the spooky season coming up soon, and the power planet retrograde in your sign you should be looking at some costumes not just for going out and getting treats but taking them to the bedroom and doing some tricks! Find something that feels right to you, and makes you feel confident and sexy!












Scorpio Symbol

What that sound? Did something touch my leg? I can hear them move around the room… I’m not talking about a poltergeist, I’m talking about being blindfolded. Any savvy kinkster will tell you that the most powerful tool in any top’s kit is a blindfold. We are programed to be wary of the dark, but that can be used to our advantage if we know how to control those feelings. Being blinded can insite fear, or help you feel calm and disconnected from the world around you. With that loss of control you can easily forget about your daily problems and focus on your other senses.



Spooky things often haunt in groups, and Neptune will have you feeling the need to make your own pack and go out on the hunt. "Get in the car, witches" and call up your ghouls for a night out on the town. Check out some of the more festive events in town, or take the graveyard rave back to your place and explore each other's crypts. Adding one or more extra monsters to the bedroom could be just what you need to get the full Halloween experience.




Capricorn Symbol

Venus will have your emotions doing a 180 with its extra-long retrograde at the end of the month, making this the perfect time to shake things up- and with costumes in every shop a little role play is a great way to try some new things in the bedroom. Are you normally the beast? What if you were the beauty this time? How about you try to be the valiant hero and let your partner be the damsel in distress. This could be done with costumes, switching up the sub/dom top/bottom (or whatever) dynamic you have, but it could also be done with toys! Bend over boys- this could be the month to try pegging!




Saying "you suck" over the this spooky season is not always a bad thing. Channel your inner vamp this Halloween and give your lips a workout while sucking on your partner. Think outside of the box and give that lovely partner of yours a hickey in some place unexpected. A bruise from a "love bite" is always a sexy reminder of the time you had with them when they see it unexpectedly at work or next time they undress for a shower. If you want to be a bratty vamp, remind them about the love mark you left on them by poking it when they are not paying attention.


We're seeing lots of leather around this month, Pisces. That adventuring archaeologist or that hottie dressed to raid some tombs might have a prop whip that gets you inner masochist worked up. If you're a lucky pain-chaser and have someone to safely inflict that on you, then good job! But if you're flying solo on your hunt for some sexy stings then fear not! It's easy to get that sharp jolt of endorphins your body craves with even the most basic BDSM toys on yourself. Don't have a closet full of fancy floggers? Then head into the kitchen and grab that silicon spatula- you will be surprised how much of a sweet sting you can give yourself with one of those.



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