April Fools Product Review
(This is a Joke happy April Fools)
With spring in the air and fresh produce showing back up at the local food stall, I thought I would find something nutritious and fun for a lazy, sunny afternoon of self-loving.
(This is a Joke Happy April Fools)
I found this medium-sized beauty at the back of the pile and loved its perfect palm sized girth. I’m a modest man, so getting one of the massive melons that you see at picnics would be expensive and wasteful. Once I got it home, I put it straight into the fridge; chilling the inside will make cutting out the hole much easier. While your vegan-friendly love toy is in the fridge, take a quick measure of your member- you will want to get the approximate girth size for when you carve out the hole.
Remember when cutting the hole that too small is okay, as you can always make it bigger.
Now that you have a hole fit for loving it’s time to give your new toy a quick warm up in the microwave. Be careful! Even with the hole your toy could explode in the microwave long before you get the chance to explode in it. I suggest starting with a minute or two and slowly building up the internal heat before you slip inside. One of the best parts of packing the produce like this is its self-lubing but you will get juices on the floor below you so maybe lay down a towel or take your fruit juicing outside. Not the most discreet toy in the world and its mostly one time use I would not suggest watermelon loving for anyone that needs to keep this kind of thing to themselves or anyone on a budget.
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