Ask LSOP # 44 - Self-conscious about squirting
I squirt when I orgasm, and it makes me self-conscious, especially in front of my partner. How do I get over this?
Made popular through adult film, female ejaculation (also known as squirting) is more common than you probably realized. Like anything our bodies do, the ability and intensity of squirting can vary from person to person. Reducing stigma and anxiety around sexual activities requires knowledge of your own anatomy, and an open dialogue with your partner.
After spending a little time thinking and learning about your body, ask yourself some questions.
What about this sexual act makes you self-conscious? Is it the volume of fluid, the faces you make, your partner's reaction, etc. After you have identified the reason for your discomfort, it can be easier to talk about. If you are concerned about the volume of fluid that your body produces, sit on a towel. If its faces that you are worried about, try turning off the light. If your partner's reaction was not what you expected, talk to them about it, and discuss how it made you feel.
If you're concerned about having sex with a new partner for the first time, taking a couple of extra steps in your planning may help to alleviate your worry. Depending on your circumstances, discussing the possibility of ejaculation ahead of time is not a bad idea- if you do it right, this forewarning could even be foreplay. If you're not on home turf, discuss if you'll need towels, or if sex in the shower is a better idea than sex in the living room. A little bit of planning and a team effort in making your first encounter one to remember will do wonders.
Try your best to prep everything you need before engaging in sexual activity. Waterproof blankets by Liberator and No More Wet-Spot can help with clean up, and protect your sheets. A damp wash cloth next to the bed is sometimes nice for a quick wipe between activities, or when you have finished your session. Don't forget to drink lots of water, to replenish what you lost.
If you feel you need additional knowledge about female ejaculation, many books have been written about the subject. Two books that we recommend are The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot by Cathy Winks, and Unleashing Her G-spot Orgasm by Donald L. Hicks. Many researchers and writers argue that complete relaxation, and a strong emotional bond with your partner are required to achieve female ejaculation. Your ability to squirt during orgasm means that you feel safe with your partner, which is a great compliment in the bedroom.
For more information about toys that are designed for g-spot stimulation and squirting see our previous blog post on the subject.
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