Ask LSOP # 37 – Scaring them off with your toy collection
Just wanted to say I'm a huge fan of your store... and that's part of my problem. See, my toy box… well it's more like a toy closet! I have no shame about my collection and the pretty wide range of toys/outfits I own, but I have started to date a new person and they have NEVER USED A SEX TOY BEFORE!!! I have no idea how they made it this far in life, but I'm worried that my impressive selection might scare them off. Am I being silly worrying that they might be intimidated by size of my collection? What if they think they are not enough for me?
Thank you very much for your question! I would like to quote my co-worker who loves to tell people that:
"A sex toy is a addition never a replacement. Nothing in the store will ever pull your hair or make you coffee in the morning."
That being said, I can understand how some people might be worried about the impression their toy collection leaves on new sexual partners. While you can't control someone’s reaction, you can ease your worry by preparing yourself for the inevitable conversation.
A potential concern that you could dispel is that a person that uses sex toys would experience sexual stimulation differently than a person who doesn't. There's no science that indicates that using sex toys diminishes or changes the body's ability to experience sensation. Having a wide selection of toys doesn't make you can only be pleased by toys. On the contrary, it just means you have a larger offering of sensations available to enjoy when the time comes.
The stigma that sex toys are only for the single (or other unflattering descriptions of people not having partnered sex) is another common misconception, and one that could not be further from the truth. The majority of toys we sell are to couples wanting to explore each other in ways that just hands, tongues, and other body parts can't- and why shouldn't they? Toys can be a part of a couple's healthy, happy sex life, just like they can be the same in a single person's life. And to that end, a single person entering a relationship shouldn't have to set their sex toys aside (more on this in a second).
Like we say in pretty much every Ask LSOP, communication is key! If you've talked to your partner and they're willing to work through their initial worries about your closet, don't stop the conversation there. The next time you're in the bedroom, talk about using the toys- tell your them what you like about them, what you don't, and if they're comfortable, talk about using them together. Make exploring your toy 'closet' an adventure. Who knows, you might find some new usages for things in the back collecting dust.
It's important to note that, when sharing toys with a new partner, some sex toy safety steps have to be taken. Toys, particularly ones that have been shared with folks who are not currently in the bedroom, should be thoroughly sanitised before sharing with a new partner. Toys that cannot be sanitised because they are made of a porous material or have too many nooks and crannies for germs to hide in should be set aside, or replaced with new ones. If you are not yet sharing fluids with your new partner, covering toys with condoms before sharing them with one another could be a quick and easy way to keep everyone safe.
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