Ask LSOP # 31 - How to pick your first sex toy
I've never owned a sex toy before, and there's so many different kinds I don't even know where to start. help!
Purchasing a first sex toy can be an overwhelming challenge for some. The vast array of toy types, and styles within those types, and levels of quality within those styles, and the... well, you get it. There's definitely a lot out there, and without both a knowledge of what type of toys work best for you and your body and of sex toys in general, even deciding on a place to start can be hard.
Figure out what makes your toes curl
The first step I would recommend is to take a moment to evaluate the type of stimulation you like. Consider which parts of your body you (or a attentive lover) focus on. How do you touch those parts when you masturbate? How do you like to be touched when you have sex with another person? For example, people with clitorises could like a light touch, or a firm pressure; they might like to use their fingertips, or prefer a broader stroke. Folks with penises can find stimulation of the head of the penis to be immensely pleasurable, or nearly painfully overstimulating. They can like a firm grip or a lighter one, the full hand, or just a few fingers. Prostates and G-spots can prefer continuous, focused pressure, or stroking, or tapping, or nothing at all. Establishing what you like and don't will immediately narrow your focus.
Figure out what features fit your lifestyle
The next step is to consider what secondary features are toy would need to have to fit your lifestyle and needs. Where do you think you will be using the toy the most? Does it need to be waterproof? Do you travel often, and want something that fits inconspicuously in a suitcase? Do you live with roommates, and need something that is unlikely to wake them in the middle of the night? Do you want something that is visually erotic, or is something that could be mistaken for a household object or wobbly piece of modern art more appealing? Do you think you need something that has motorized vibration or movement, or would you prefer a stationary toy that you maneuver on your own? Can you have a toy sitting out in the open charging, or is switching the batteries quickly when its low on power a better fit?
Do a bit of browsing
You should now have a mental list of what you are looking for, in a vague sense, which leads to the next step. Do some shopping! Online shopping, especially for those who are nervous to step into an adult store, is awesome, but when people ask for my honest opinion, I recommend going to a brick and mortar shop- especially if you are just getting started. Not to toot the LSOP horn too hard, but that's one of the reasons why I love working where I do. Finding something that will suit your needs is much easier when you can hold a toy in your hands, push the buttons, bend it, touch it, smell it, even. And take advantage of having a person who knows what they're talking about on hand to offer guidance! Share what your needs are, and let them help you narrow your search down.
Do the research
But if something doesn't immediately scream "take me home!" I wouldn't be alarmed. Hopefully you'll have found a few things that piqued your interest, which leads to the next step I recommend: read some damn reviews. Make sure to note the brand and name of the toys that seem like good contenders, and then go online and find out what other people have to say about them. in particular, try to find in-depth reviews that indicate what the reviewer favours in their toys- if you're a firm grip guy, take a light grip guy's negative review with a grain of salt. Get my drift?
Just try one
This could be a last or first step, really. Sex toys are a lot like food in many ways, and like food, the only way to really know what you're going to like is to just give it a try. There are a great deal of awesome, body safe toys in nearly every conceivable style that are very inexpensive, and I recommend starting with something in a price range that won't break your heart if it turns out it's not for you. If you're confident that you've selected the exact toy to suit your needs, splurge, and invest in a really fancy toy that will last you for ages. Or try a few different things, or something you never even considered before.
Don't stress out- it's just a sex toy
I often talk with customers whose first experience with a hastily bought sex toy left them thinking that sex toys just weren't for them and that they shouldn't bother trying again- while that may be the case for some, for a great deal more folks they just didn't find quite the right toy for them. Try not to get frustrated, and don't worry that there's something wrong with you, or with the concept of sex toys in general- remove the pressure, dive in, and start doing your own hands-on research. I promise that your second sex toy will be a much easier purchase.
Interested in appearing (anonymously) in the Ask LSOP section of next month's newsletter? Submit your questions about relationships, sex, adult toys, or lingerie, and our team of sexperts will find you the answers! Email your questions to info@littleshopofpleasures.
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